shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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