Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize