So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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