after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
