The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's official drugs can't kill me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
