we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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