So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
