whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
