I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
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Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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