So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
