I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
