found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
