i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize