How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
