your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
