Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
