whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize