I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
