I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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