All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
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Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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