he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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