I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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