so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
