Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
