i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
