Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
