We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
