Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
