His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
