i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize