Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We need a shit load of segways right now
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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