My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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