This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't deserve a penis
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
