Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
