Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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