I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
soo... how was my night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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