Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
wow bdsm is so cute
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