The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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