ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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