i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??