party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?