That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
