About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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