I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
