She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
