No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
