He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
