Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
