he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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