he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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