NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
