3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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