I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
