i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
