Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize